Mental Health: the importance of talking and having someone to talk to

It will surprise few that I have had a difficult week mentally. I have written in the past of my frustration at times when I have been unable to tell when a dark period of mental health was coming. Frankly though, one didn’t need to be Nostradamus to see my difficulties this week coming. A combination of a hectic work week, some physical frailty and some important and poignant personal milestones approach left me deep in a dark place.

I am feeling much better about things though as I write this today for a number of reasons. A principal reason among that number is the fact that I was able to speak freely about what has been troubling me. I spoke to my psychologist. I spoke to my best friend. I spoke to my father. I spoke to my sister.

Each of these amazing people in my life have accepted my mental illness for what it is and allow me to talk when I need to and. In fact, they probably do not realise just how much they help me when they listen to me variously rant, plot, procrastinate and self deprecate.

Talking through an issue is a major part of my therapy: I do not know where I would be without it. I have been left to reflect today though on the importance having someone at the other end of the phone / message service / side of the coffee table who is prepared to listen and do so with empathy. I have such people but there are many out there who do not.

I am a lucky one and I realise now more than ever that we as a society must to more to help those who aren’t as lucky as me. I know there are telephone services out there and in patient facilities that can assist but at a base level we all as humans have or should have an obligation to listen to and support our fellow humans when they need it.

I have made this call to arms before and I will make it again: if you have a friend, colleague or acquaintance you believe to be struggling then do something about it. Even if it just offering an ear to listen too taking that step could be the most important thing you ever do.

I will be forever thankful to those I have in my life who are prepared to listen to me. They have made a massive difference to the way I live and the way I deal with my mental impediments daily. I will never be able to thank them enough.

PostScript 1: If you are an advocate of the “tough love” approach and are tempted to tell your friend, colleague or acquaintance to just “toughen up” then I urge you against that approach. It just doesn’t work and will likely make the person you are talking to just feel weaker and more fragile then already do.

PostScript 2: Ian Thorpe admitting himself to a facility for treatment yesterday was big news. I salute him for having the courage to seek help. It is often, I know from bitter experience, the hardest step to take. I wish him well and hope the press will now leave alone to heal.

Bugger me … February already? Where did January go?

The sentiment in the title to this post is one that I have heard at least 3 times today and have seen on twitter possibly a dozen time more.  I too have found myself incredulous that already we are into the second month of the year.  I am not sure our lives get progressively busier as we get older but it sure feels like it on days like to today when I have sat back to reflect on the month that was January and feel like I have done not very much but that the time has flown.

It struck me though when I thought about it more that perhaps I was being a little too harsh on myself, given that it has actually been a packed month when I look at my diary, and the actual problem is one of failing to reflect on, for want of a better term, things when they actually happen.

Life rushes past so quickly that it is easy for the days to, it would seem, roll together into one large collage of success and failure that just continues to roll on without reflecting on the good and the bad of each day and looking for ways to improve.

In an effort to slow things down and learn more from both the successes of each day as well as the failures I have decided to spend some time each day reviewing what I have done during the day and reflecting on how I could have improved.  Hopefully that will make the time seem to run less quickley and I will learn and improve as the month goes on.

Hopefully next month I am not sitting here feeling like I have done nothing of import and rather feeling positive about the new learnings to come from the month just gone.