“If the road is easy, you’re likely going the wrong way.”
― Terry Goodkind
Monthly Archives: October 2013
Poetry: Day by Day by Vincent Ramos
Each day I live, the pain consumes
What little sanity I have bloomed
Like walking in a cloud of fog
Falling down, sinking into smog
Life just seems grim
I think on a whim
Interest lost in everything I do
But what a life, who really knew?
Depressed to a fault, that all I see
Death just seems like the only way for me
A waste of time, I feel I am
But that’s its nature, a full mind jam
I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today
Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel
I pray and wish this all wasn’t real
Life just seems more like a prison
Caged, alone, an abomination risen
No one could ever understand
Why I would want my death sooner than planned
Its not something I want for me
But to end my suffering this is what has to be
So I write this all as I fall from grace
Down to this place, some barren waste
I know not how much longer I will last
But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.
Quote of the Day
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami
Sport and Star Wars: a search for meaning
I posted this morning a quote from Star Wars having spent my night last night watching the Star Wars trilogy (sidebar here: I do not believe there are any Star Wars movies other than the original trilogy worth my watching and thus I have never watched the other movies in the franchise BUT I digress). That quote is from The Empire Strikes Back and Yoda and was:
“If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are … a different game you should play.”
I have reflected on that quote a bit this morning since posting and, indeed, have reflected on the rest of my long weekend, aside from the Star Wars festival. It has been a weekend, for me, of sport and social media with a bit of yard work and writing thrown in for good measure.
My reflections have lead me to the view that there is much to be said for the application of Yoda’s quote across more than the Star Wars universe and the life of Luke Skywalker. Well much to be said, with an amendment.
This weekend we have seen: the Wallabies remove the shackles of doubt with a barnstorming performance in Rosario against Argentina, the International loose for the fifth successive time to the United States in the Presidents, the Pittsburgh Pirates leading in the NCLS against the St Louis Cardinals and the Kansas City Chiefs move to a 5-0 record after a season worst 2-14 season in 2013 (among other sporting results).
Now in each context it is impossible to say that none of these teams and their respective staffs have been free of mistakes. However, what it is possible to say, is that, in each context, the particular team in question has either thrived upon making a change or have continued to flounder because of the failure to do so.
The story of the Kansas City Chiefs this season is particularly instructive. Before the season started the team changed its head coach, its general manager and its quarterback. That aside it made limited changes to its line up. A change in attitude and a change in style of play has been made by the coach and quarterback and, with essentially everything else the same as last year, the team has thrived. Indeed, they are now playing the game at a different level.
The story of the Pittsburgh Pirates from the MLB is the similarly as instructive (an nothing short of inspiring). After 21 seasons out of the post season (the worst record in all of the sports combined in the US) and a similar span of losing seasons until last season, behind a new manager in Clint Hurdle and off the back of some great roster moves they are the story of Major League Baseball this season. Their fans have returned to their games and they are now one game around to the second phase of the MLB finals. Again: they have made some changes in management and staff but a largely the same team that 3 years ago had, almost, the worst record in the National League.
All of this leads me to a surprising point: I think Yoda is wrong. Sorry: scratch that … I think the message that Yoda has in the quote above is spot on so long as the ideology of not making mistakes is removed. To me, to play a game and, for that matter, to live life without mistake is not possible. Indeed the biggest mistake I would think one could make would be to consider oneself to be wholly without error.
That being the case, I think the quote is better phrased thusly:
“If losing you are … a different game you should play”
The Chiefs and the Pirates were losing, indeed they were losing badly, so they took steps to play the game differently by making staff changes and the results are there for all to see.
So where does that lead us? It is all well and good for me to spruik sporting examples to back a theory but is said theory equally as applicable in life? That has been a large part of my ponderance today. I know in my own life I have been crippled at time by the fear of failure and change where change presented itself. It is trite to say (but also a truism) that my life would be different now if I had have made changes earlier in my life when I was living a life riddled with mistakes.
Life is fundamentally about learning from ones mistakes. It strikes me that the biggest mistake one can make is not making changes when one is, metaphorically, losing. That failure to act though comes mostly from fear of change doesn’t it? Therein lies the conundrum of making changes.
I wish I had have made changes in my life earlier but did not out of fear. I hope I have learned from that mistake so that the next time I am, metaphorically, losing in the game of life I can recognise that I need to play a different game to succeed. The question I have is: will you?
Quote of the Day
“If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are … a different game you should play.”
–YODA
The week that was: wringing the black dog’s neck
Well it has been an interesting week to say the least. It started with me writing about taking a metaphorical light saber to my personal black dog that had started barking and it draws to an end with the dog still barking a bit albeit less loudly.
To butcher a line from the 12th man: it’s a funny old game depression. Perhaps more aptly put: it’s a funny old game life! I say that because this has been a week where I have, on the one hand, been tested and,on the hand, been heartened. It is the heartening that I want to talk about more because to linger on the testing would be to allow negativity to win and, by extension, the black dog to rise.
So why have I been heartened this week: it is simple really … I have been asked by more than few people this week about my blog from last Sunday and also about my forthrightness in dealing with the black dog. That is heartening because, particularly in the case of men of my generation and those of earlier times, we do not talk about our own mental health enough.
Now I am aware that I am a talker and expressing what I am feeling is an important part of my own therapeutic journey. It is an approach that will not work for everyone.
My point is though that this is not a disease that should be pushed to shadows or stigmatised: simply, if you want to talk about your problems you should be able too.
Don’t just take my word for it though: I read an excellent article during the week by one of the greats of Australian racing Lee Freedman in which he talks about his battles with depression and the bottle and his new beginning having fought those demons.
Being able to talk about it helps me and, more importantly, starting a dialogue about it must help reduce the stigma that sits around depression. That is the big thing that heartens me when I see those who actually have a profile in the media and in life speak out (after all I am just a hack with a blog few people read).
I know I am going to keep talking about it (sorry if that bores you) and use talking about it is as a mechanism to wring the black dog’s neck however short term. Of ever you want to talk about it dear readers I am always happy to listen.
I repeat: we need to talk more about this disease. Too many people are suffering without a semblance of a light at the end of the tunnel because of the natural worry of by stigmatised. Please listen if one of your friends wants to talk to you.
Finally, to everyone who has reached out this week for a chat be it face to face, by text or on twitter thank you. Not just for being in contact but for sharing your stories too. Let’s talk more and talk loudly!
Shumpty Speaks 